how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
