sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
