you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
