We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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