I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
