just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
