apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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