8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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