In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
