My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
