dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
