Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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