Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
