Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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