Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
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so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
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Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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