I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
