he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He shit in the fireplace
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
