My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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