Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
