Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
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Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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