R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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