even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
