2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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