Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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