It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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