Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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