they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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