In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
