Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
