Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
