my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
