TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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