Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
