he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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