from now on my penis is your penis
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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