Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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