meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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