you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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