It's like God shit irony all over that family
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
