the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize