Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
