Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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