she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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