It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
