I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
