Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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