I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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