HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
