It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
