my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
