everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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