the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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