you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
