so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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