I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
