I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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