I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
