How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
