Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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