I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
